Bill of NON-Rights (apparently written by a senator)

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."

• ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
• ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
• ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
• ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
• ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
• ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
• ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
• ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
• ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
• ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!
• ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!

What do you think??

Check out stupidvideos.com...here are some of my favs:

1. You'll never think of the Pillsbury Doughboy the same again! LOL...LMAO!
2. What half of my classmates look like during one of our Therio lectures by Dr. B!
3. And people say dogs are possessive!
4. How redneck's fail a DUI test!
5. I'm sure most of us have had this professor before! LOL!
6. Basketgirl...what more could a guy want! (Notice the girl gets hurt but could the guys care less??)

They add new videos daily!

Today in our Clinical Procedures class we learned how to restrain pet birds for physical exams & veinipuncture (some got Scooby-Doo band-aids when the lab was done). We also examined bird feces, bird blood, & learned how to give IM injections. I'm not that avid of a bird restrainer but I went in with confidence & came out band-aid free! Although I could see how some of my classmates could've been weary considering the Dr teaching us had 2-3 fingers with band-aids on, before our second lab session got started.

LET'S GET IT ON!!

So the other day in Theriogenology Lab we got to see how semen was collected from a stallion so that it can be observed under a microscope to check fertility. The stallion was first teased by a mare; he was walked up to a mare in stocks so that he would get aroused...& lemme tell you he got aroused alright; his penis was as long as an elephant trunk & it was kinda acting like one too. Then we proceeded to watch the resident do a "weeny wash" (yes that's what they call it) so that the ejaculate would be as clean as possible. Finally the stallion was teased again & then brought over to "The Phantom" to mount & ejaculate inside an artificial vagina that the resident was holding. (see picture). After it was all said & done the stallion thanked "The Phantom" for its cooperation by nuzzling it with his head. Awwww...horsey love! LOL!!!

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!!

Yet another one of our professors has announced that he is leaving the U of I College of Veterinary Medicine...& of course he's a clinician! Also, one of the Dr. Mrs & Mr.'s are retiring @ the end of the year. Finally (um highly doubt that thou), one of the Pharmacology professors is rumored to be leaving as well.

I hate to say this but there once was a day I would highly recommend students to apply & come to U of I CVM but with SO MANY people leaving I don't if I still would...I mean @ this point the whole VTH may be non-existent by the time my fourth year clinic rotations roll around!

Yeah, yeah, I know change is good & that turnover is inevitable but what the H*** am I paying $14,500 for a year...to see "Cardiovascular Department" on a wooden door which leads into a hallway with a Doppler & EKG but no cardiologist within a 100 mile radius! Yes, I'm bitter but where would Pets be without a heart?? Important organ?? Vital organ??

A women's field guide to men...lol!